Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Less talking, more tequila
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
