We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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