Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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