are you so shy because you have an std?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
