I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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