Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
