im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
