i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
