maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
there was a trapeze. enough said
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
