Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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