OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
