I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Non-Jews are for practice
too bad you live with your parents still
That reminds me...we need to get swords
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
dude. I can hear the air.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
