So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Randomize
