just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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