You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
