Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
