did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
