Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
