I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
