new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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