Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
