well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
