he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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