at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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