Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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