People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
