Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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