Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
