Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
