shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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