i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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