i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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