puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
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You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
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I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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