Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize