No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
