Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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