tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
worst night to have a conscience
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
