Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
