just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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