it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
