Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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