i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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