Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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