When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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