Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
