If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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