I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
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So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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