Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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