Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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