are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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