Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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