That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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