FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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