OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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