I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
