the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
