I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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