She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
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