I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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