i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
