I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's never too late to be topless.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize