I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
