Banned from zoo.
Again?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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