Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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