I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
