somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
