Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I will be naked everywhere
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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