Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
