You work out of a Hotel?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
