is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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