i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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