summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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